Although fertility treatments can be physically, emotionally, and financially overwhelming, everyone experiencing infertility has a story.
Infertility Treatment is a Journey
The journey through fertility treatments can be quite daunting – physically, emotionally, and financially. It is an overwhelming process, step-by-step, from start to finish, with many decisions to be made along the way. Part of making next step decisions is to stop and think about where you are in the process, where you have been, and what you have lost. Once you have considered each of these aspects fully, then think about your ultimate goals.
What’s your Story?
Maybe you have always pictured lots of children in your family. Maybe you imagined your son running down the field with the winning touchdown or perhaps you have pictured your daughter in a little tutu, ready for her first dance recital. We all have a reproductive story. Your hopes and dreams of what your family would look like and how you envisioned yourself as a parent are all part of your reproductive story. It is normal to believe that your dreams will unfold just as you imagined with a sweet little baby nestled in your arms.
Grief and a Sense of Loss are Part of the Journey
When you experience a pregnancy loss, a premature baby with complications, or infertility, it seems as though your dreams are all lost. Nothing is as you imagined in your reproductive story, and you feel horrible because everything has gone wrong. It is a very real and traumatic feeling of loss.
Help is Available
You never have to go about this journey alone. When it is time to take the next step or make the next decision in your family-building journey, you and your partner may need extra support. You may not be on the same page at the same time or you may be concerned about your potential choices as you balance potential decisions with other financial obligations, your faith, or even the opinions of your family and friends. It is ok to ask for help, whether you need a financial counselor or a mental health practitioner.
Infertility Support Groups
One way to accept and address the loss you are experiencing is to share your story with others, possibly through an infertility support group. A local fertility clinic may sponsor an infertility support group for clients, or you may find a local support group through RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. There are also many online infertility support groups available as well. Working with an infertility support group provides a space for individuals, friends, and families who are looking to share personal experiences, evaluate information, and get support as they work through the challenges of infertility.
CORM has support group meetings the last Thursday of every month at 5:30pm at our Webster location. We are also available at any other time to help you cope with these difficult experiences.
Where Are You in Your Infertility Journey?
Often, one of the first steps to complete in your decision-making journey is to list your options. Not only will it simplify the process in the long run, it will also give you hope to add to your story. While the following sample list may or may not fit your current and very personal situation, it may be a suitable list for someone who has failed at least one IVF cycle without donor eggs or donor sperm. Their options would be:
- Repeat IVF cycle with own eggs and sperm
- Use a donor egg
- Use donor sperm
- Use a donor embryo
- Consider child-free living
- Consider adopting a child
- Consider finding a surrogate
Once you complete an exhaustive list of options, it is time to consider all the pros and cons to determine the options that will best work for you. Narrowing down your alternatives simplifies decision making; at some point, you are going to have to make a choice.
No Looking Back – The Path of Least Regret
As you work to modify your story, possibly even tweaking your hopes and dreams, be sure to move forward without regret. There will be many twists and turns in your fertility journey, along with several forks in the road. When reviewing your options and making decisions, consider taking the “path of least regret.” What does this mean? Pretend, for a minute, that you can fast-forward in life so that you are 60 years old, and you are looking back at this moment with the wisdom of hindsight. Consider which choices will give you peace of mind when you reach your golden years.
For information regarding infertility treatment and support in southeast Texas, be sure to contact The Center of Reproductive Medicine (CORM). The knowledgeable and friendly staff will answer your questions and provide the guidance you need. Their goal is to provide a positive and nurturing experience for each and every patient during their infertility journey.