Feeling anxious and possibly a little off-track during your fertility treatment? It’s a stressful, high-anxiety time and it doesn’t matter whether you are going through IUI, IVF, or taking fertility drugs like Clomid…
There are so many different factors involved with infertility stress (from hormones to hopes, doubts, and fears), making it sometimes very difficult to cope with it all.
Hormone Misery
Fertility treatment is stressful without introducing unstable hormones into the situation. You might think of it as the difference between light April showers on a gorgeous spring day versus a mighty thunderstorm in the middle of a hot summer day. In essence, hormones from the fertility drugs act like a mega storm; those fertility drug hormones typically make everything feel much more extreme.
Remembering this can go a long way to helping you feel not so intense or crazy. It also helps to share this information with close friends and family, like maybe your partner or best friend. Chances are that your loved ones will be a little more understanding, especially if they understand the hormonal factor, when you snap at the little things that annoy you.
If you know in advance that you have upcoming meetings that may be stressful, consider scheduling them before or after a fertility treatment cycle. In fact, any situation where you will need to control your tears or anger is probably best left until after your treatment cycle. Of course, not all situations can be easily scheduled around your treatment; therefore, it is important to remind yourself to breathe deeply when you feel like you are on the edge.
Bouncing Between Emotions
Do you feel like your emotions are bouncing around like a ping pong ball? Does it seem like one minute you are feeling extremely optimistic, knowing that this is the cycle that will produce the miracle of life? And then the next minute, do you feel frighteningly pessimistic, wondering what will happen if the treatment doesn’t work? Do feelings of doom and gloom take over as you think that nothing will work and you will live a life of unfulfilled hopes and dreams?
When you start to feel that way, it’s time to stop for a moment and go for a few minutes of calming, deep breathing. It is not unusual to fluctuate between feeling happy and energized and feeling scared and overwhelmed. Be sure to remind yourself regularly, especially when the doom and gloom phase comes around, to take life one minute at a time and one cycle at a time.
It is so easy to forget that it often takes several treatment cycles before achieving success. It is also easy to forget that there may be even more treatment possibilities available. Even if the worst happens and you are unable to conceive the way you hoped, life will go on. It will be extremely difficult to accept in the beginning, but with counseling and time, you will survive your sadness and disappointment.
Give Yourself Breaks From Stress and Anxiety
During your fertility treatment journey, your stress level will fluctuate day-to-day. The stress will probably all depend on the kind of treatment you are going through, including the expected amount of monitoring and the number of necessary procedures. A high stress day may be the day you have an ultrasound to check on follicle growth. Another stressful day might be the day you give yourself an injection for the first time. Of course, during the couple of days before you take a pregnancy test, you will probably be very anxious.
Not every day will be a super stressor, though. It may sound a bit strange, but you may actually get used to jabbing yourself with a needle, and therefore the fifth day of injections won’t be any big deal. After a few days, even monitoring won’t always be so hard to manage.
It is important to give yourself a break, especially if you know you’re day is going to be difficult or stressful. Sneak in a visit to your favorite coffee shop or cafe for a delicious cup of hot cocoa or a cup of comforting herbal tea. Perhaps you can fit in a massage or an acupuncture treatment. Treat yourself to other mind-body therapies that will reduce your stress and make you feel special for the day.
Of course, not many folks can stop everything, putting their lives on hold, just because they are going through fertility treatments. In fact, doing so probably isn’t a good idea anyway. Recognizing the need for down time and transitions between stressful treatment periods and everyday real-life periods is important. You may only get a quick five or ten minutes of transition time, but if you need it, take it. Pretending you don’t need that time to transition (or hammering yourself about needing that time) will keep you stressed out for sure.
Stressing About Stress
Stress and living with infertility seem to go hand-in-hand. The treatment is stress enough, but you worry that stressing about it may lower your chances for success. The worrying about stressing out makes life even more stressful. It becomes a vicious circle of stress and who needs that?
Thankfully, there is good news to report. Research has found that feeling stressed about treatment doesn’t hurt your chances for treatment success. One large study looked at the data from fourteen other different studies, which included a total of 3,583 women. Researchers found that the level of pre-treatment anxiety or depression did not affect pregnancy rates. Women with high anxiety were just as likely to get pregnant during treatment as those with lower anxiety levels.
That means you don’t need to stress about being stressed. Of course, that does not mean you should ignore your stress levels. There are many ways to de-stress, such as seeking counseling, surrounding yourself with loving support, and finding the little ways to take care of yourself. De-stressing does not boost your chances for conception, but lower stress will help you feel happier and healthier.
If you are experiencing problems getting pregnant, the caring and professional staff at the Center of Reproductive Medicine (CORM) is available to answer your questions. Our experienced reproductive specialists understand just how stressful infertility can be and they will work closely with you to choose the best fertility program for your individual reproductive needs.
